However, the tide turned in the 1960s, when psychologists and founders of attachment theory, Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby, published research demonstrating the importance of the 'parent-child bond.' Seminal studies looked at children raised in orphanages and institutions, which showed that children aren't just reliant on parents for food and shelter, but also for emotional support. If parents wanted their children to grow up fearless and self-reliant, the idea was for affection to be offered sparingly. Western mid-20th-century parenting books advocated against parents coddling and smothering their children. Genetically we're programmed to be in relationships, but how we relate to our romantic partners is where attachment theory comes in. Therefore, finding a dependable mate allowed them to raise offspring and continue the human lineage. Our desire for attachment stretches back in time to when our ancestors had to rely on each other to survive hardships and the threat of predators.

And, at the end of the day, our genes and life experiences govern our desire to form relational bonds with others. It's the age-old 'nature and nurture' answer.

Where Does Our Need For Relationships Come From? So if you need to understand why some relationships don't work out, or want to bring more happiness and fulfillment into your current relationships, then this is a very worthwhile read.īriefly, we'll unpack the science of adult attachment, and the tips and tricks we can use to better navigate our relationships, by deciphering our attachment style, and that of our partners. Attached gives us the scientific foundation of romantic relationships, how our evolutionary past defines our present experiences regarding romantic relationships, and how we seek out certain relationships based on our attachment style. Heller graduated from Columbia University with a master's degree in social-organizational psychology. Levine is a psychiatrist and neuroscientist. Heller collaborated to write a book, to help us make better choices regarding love. Close friends and authors Amir Levine and Rachel S. Can we use science to improve our relationships?Īttached gives us the scientific story behind adulthood attachment, and how this understanding can help us find and keep love.Īttachment is just a fancy word for love.

The new science of adult attachment